


Baby Blues

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-02-22
Updated: 1999-02-22
Packaged: 2018-11-10 12:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11126688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	Baby Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

## BABY BLUES 

REPOST 

By TimBeastie 

email   
  


Dedicated to a new person (8 lb 5 oz)..pink though <g>..  
and a mere duck not so mere though ;) 

Disclaimer: No profit, not mine....etc etc etc  
email 

__________________________________________________________________________ 

Ben squirmed and wriggled out of a deep dreamless sleep. He gave a gusting sigh then lay quietly absorbing the delicious feeling of warm sunshine on his bare chest. Which was odd really because he was quite sure had put on his longjohns the night before - but what the heck he felt lazy and comfortable, very comfortable. <Comfortable? In *this* bed? Hmm> He yawned widely, screwing his eyes up tight and smacked his lips. 

"Aww look at him." 

Ray's voice boomed loudly somewhere above his head. Way too loudly. 

"He's so cute." Another voice, feminine and more softly spoken. 

Hmm the voice seemed familiar..a tickle on the edge of his memory but he couldn't quite catch it and the face was too fuzzy and far away. 

"Ooos got sweet widdle toesies den?" 

Ben kept his eyes shut. No way did he want to know what was going on. Since when did Ray...but then maybe Ray wasn't talking about him? He frowned. 

"Aww wassa matter den? Izz oo hungie or does oo want changin'?" 

<Oh dear> Ben's hand strayed casually down and swiftly encountered a plastic padded...diaper! 

A tiny little hand moved to clutch its partner. <Oh my! That's ME??>

Suddenly Ben was aware of the overpowering scent of baby powder. How had he missed *that*? 

He had to open his eyes, he just *had* to. 

A rather fuzzy and extremely large Ray Vecchio swam into view. 

<My what large teeth you have Ray, to say nothing of...>

"Whaddya think, does he look hungry or the other, cos if it's the other it's your turn sweetheart." 

"Yeah right." 

Ray grinned happily and turned to kiss the woman next to him. 

"OK OK I lied..so sue me. Can't I take a raincheck? Hunh?" 

"I think you'd better be checking for damp in Mister Pants. I have to dash, the Inspector's expecting that report on her desk first thing. Paternity leave..it's a wonderful thing ain't it?" 

The woman turned away and Ben heard frantic scrabbling sounds which he identified as frantic briefcase search followed by quicktime coat application. 

"Kiss?" 

Mmmm "oh and" Mmmmmmmm 

The door slammed. Someone was surely in a hurry today. 

"Well blue eyes looks like it's you an' me and the changin' mat." 

<This is a nightmare. Please let me wake up before..please. I'll do anything...I'll cram Diefenbaker so full of donuts he bursts..I'll marry Francesca..I'll steal the crown jewels...ANYTHING!!!>

************* 

<A delicate and sensitive Beastie now passes over the next scene (fnar, fnar;)>

************* 

"There that wasn't so bad was it? All that fuss, tsk tsk! Daddy didn't get too wet when oo had oo's widdle accident." Ray checked the velcroed strips were pressed firmly in place and tickled Ben's tummy. 

"Now if ya'll just lie quiet in your crib I'll get ya somethin' good ta drink. You're lucky it's fresh from your ma this morning. Izz oo gonna shut oo's widdle moufie? Oo's gonna catch flies that way Benny boy." 

Ben shut his mouth with a snap. Perhaps if he did ever wake up or somehow get back to normal, strong alcohol or narcotic abuse would erase the last 20 minutes; 20 of the *most* embarrassing minutes of his life, and yes he was counting his unfortunate encounter with the incontinent shire horse. How on earth would he ever be able to face the real Ray again? 

Ray's beaming face appeared over the side of the crib and his new "daddy" lifted him easily into his arms. Father and "son" made their way into the kitchen where a small bottle of milk lurked on the table top. 

Ben opened his mouth to protest but was swiftly silenced by the rubber teat. He tried vainly to suppress his carefully built up tasting skills. Finally after an aeon or two the bottle was withdrawn.  
"Ewww!" 

"C'mon Benny, burpin' time." 

Ben's body, which felt increasingly fragile and vulnerable, was hoisted up and over Ray's shoulder. 

No doubt Ray imagined these to be gentle wind-releasing pats, but Ben felt flattened by each one. 

<Uuh I feel sick.>

"Waah!" 

<Hmm interesting.."I'm going to be sick" translated. I must remember that in case I ever..Nah..she wants to adopt and the other one's..oh dear>

"Well.." said Ray twisting round to eye the evidence. "I'm glad I put a towel down before ya decided to ruin yet another of your daddy's shirts." 

"OK first a little nap then a walk in the park in your new buggy. Good plan eh?" 

Ray dangled his "son" in front of him and made a face. 

"Good plan daddy." said Ray in a litle boy voice. 

His sometime friend, partner and current "father" then decided to put the wind up his "son" and no mistake. 

"Whee!!" yelled Ray 

<Oh my giddy aunt he's going to drop me, I *know* he is..> panicked Ben several times as Ray decided to play catch the baby on the way back to the crib.  


********** 

From the warm depths of slumber Ben felt something tickling him on the nose. He sneezed and woke with a start. 

<Oh no!>

Above his head five rainbow coloured ducklings bounced their way round and round while a sprightly tune...which he identified as "Diddle diddle dumplin'" tinkled forth..*merrily*. 

Ray bent over him waving a bright blue pacifier hypnotically to and fro. 

The nightmare was not over yet... 

********** 

The buggy careened out of control. Ben felt every bump and rattle keenly, especially the bump just before the whole lot tipped right over and into the duck pond. 

"Benny!! Benny!!" 

He was sopping wet, covered in weeds, water and mud from head to toe. Ray hugged him regardless. 

"I'm so sorry." Turnbull was at his most contrite and almost tearful. "I didn't mean to startle you like that..and I must have slipped on something..I just couldn't help pushing the buggy so hard." 

Ray took a very deep breath, then another and another for good measure. 

"Yeah well. Benny's alright an' that's all that matters." He shrugged tolerantly. "Accidents happen." 

"I'll get back to the Consulate then shall I. It's a pity about your dinner plans." 

"Yeah well, anyway you do that. Goodbye Constable." 

Ray knelt down by the buggy and retrieved the bag of essential baby things from underneath. 

"Hi Ray I saw what happened. Is there anything I can do?" 

"Louise!? Gee I haven't seen you around in ages. No really we're OK. Hey you haven't met my son." 

Ray lifted his mudsplattered "son" round to greet his friend. 

"Hello there little guy. Oh he's so handsome! I'll bet he's going to break a few hearts when he gets older. What's his name?" 

"Would ya believe "Benton". After his mother's favourite uncle. But hey I call him Benny 'cos he's my favourite son, ain't ya?" 

"So what are you going to be when you grow up lil Benny?" cooed Louise. 

"Well his dad's a cop and his mother's a Mountie. I think we're setting a convention here. What can I say? My son the judge - well that's what my ma's hoping." 

"Oh Ray." Louise rummaged in the depths of her shopping. 

"Look! I got this for my nephew but I want Benny to have it. Ooh look! See how his eyes lit up then. I think he likes it." Louise passed the stuffed wolf toy to Ray bypassing the grasping muddy baby hands. 

"Thanks Louise." 

"They're a new range..each one called after an American President. That one's called Lincoln."  
"Say hi to Lincoln Benny." Ray waggled the toy in his "son's" face. 

"I have to go Ray. Really nice seeing you again though and Benny." 

"Bye Louise." Ray gazed at the retreating figure of Louise St Laurent, then turned his attention back to his mucky son. 

"Hmm back to base and a bath for you mio caro." 

<Oh just shoot me now. I renounce Canada and all its works..is *that* enough?>

************* 

<Yet again the delicate sensibilities of the reader are spared by the caring Beastie...<veg>>

************* 

"Wuff wuff..wuff wuff!" Ray had spent the past quarter of an hour trying to amuse his remarkably unresponsive child. Most of his attempts had involved the wolf toy being waggled frantically in the baby's shiny clean face. 

Ray plonked the toy on Benny's chest and looked thoughtfully into his eyes. 

Ben tried to communicate from the depths of his being his heartfelt desire to be left in peace. 

"I guess.." began Ray slowly. 

"Hi honey I'm home..Miss me you two?" 

A radiant smile split Ray's face and he turned from Ben to hug the woman behind him. 

Ben brushed Lincoln to the floor and attempted to use the toy as a lever to stand up. 

He had to get a closer look at this woman, he just had to get a look at...his "mother." 

<Oh...oh...oh..sh...sugar. No no no NO!!?>

Shocked beyond measure he lost his grip and his footing. 

Thud! 

Faintly he heard voices. 

"Benny, Benny!! It's mommy c'mon Benny" 

"Benny!!" Ray's voice full of concern. "Vikki we gotta get him to a doctor.." 

************* 

"Ya know Benny boy." said Ray conversationally as Ben blinked his eyes against the harsh light above him. 

"Uh?" 

"I dunno what was in that pizza and I suppose it coulda been that 8 hour stint of punishment statue duty ya just did..but that was one hell of a weird dream ya wus havin' there." 

<Dream? DREAM??>

"Oh Ray I could kiss you!" 

"Yeah right." Ray snorted. 

"By the way Benny what's with you an that stuffed toy peeking out of your longjohns...looks like a wolf.. kinda. Buying a prez for Dief eh, or just feelin' lonely?" 

<Stuffed...WHAT??>  


THE END  
  


Notes: 

1\. Ray and Victoria...hmmm any takers?  
2\. Of course, the last part might have been a dream too...<snicker>   
  


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